do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
