Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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