ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
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