i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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