Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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