they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
