So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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