Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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