Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize