That's when you crack a 10am beer
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
