so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm eating all of the evidence.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
