i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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