from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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