Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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