is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
