In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize