I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
