no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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