she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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