i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
