Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
