Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
