Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
