Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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