Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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