Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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