I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
