4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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