A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
