I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize