it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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