i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
