there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
