Say something about gay babies.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
