i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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