I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
