think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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