I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you inspire me to be a worse person
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
