two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize