Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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