Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
