I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
