i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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