why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
