I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize