i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
