Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
