So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
