Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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