Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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