There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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