): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
