Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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