I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
