id be glad to
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
