eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
