Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
