Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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