guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
