I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
