Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
