dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize